Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

<p>In the movie Date Night, Tina Fey and Steve Carrell play a couple struggling to revive the romance of the early days of their relationship. When they confront this issue, they turn to fantasies as one way to re-ignite the spark. Steve confesses that his fantasy is to be with 3 other women, to which Tina challenges him if he could keep up.</p>
<p>Compared to this formulaic exchange, Tina then admits that her fantasy is to go away and be alone - alone where no one is putting demands on her and she can just breathe.<br />
Isn’t it wonderful how comedies can get us to laugh with stereotypical quips while in the next moment allow us to gain a poignant insight? Some may be shocked by her admission that she wants to have space from the person she is trying to reignite with, but the fact of the matter is that having alone time is very important ingredient to a successful relationship. </p>
<p>Culturally, however, we’re led to believe that if we find the perfect person we’ll be so well matched that we’ll want to be together all of the time. Our culture also tends to place a positive value on wanting to be with others and a negative value on being alone. This causes couples to confuse the concepts of always and forever. People can be in love forever, but don’t always have to feel that they’re in love. There can be a lot of pressure on couples to meet all of each other’s needs and desires, as well causing people to feel bad about themselves or their relationships if they want time alone or with other people or just don’t feel all that excited about being with their partner at that moment. </p>
<p>The yearning for the perfectly matched mate is not a new concept. Plato introduced the idea in his symposium that human beings originally had four arms and four legs, but the gods were threatened by the power of humans so Zeus split people in two.<br />
“After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one, they began to die from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart… So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, seeking to make one of two, and to heal the state of man.” </p>
<p>Yet, if we hold that each of us is an individual whole and complete within ourselves and we’re not looking for our other half, is it possible we can create happier and healthier relationships? If, as individuals, we take responsibility for our own , can we more authentically and fully enjoy the dance of life with our partners? </p>
<p>Our energy and individuality need to breathe just like we need to breathe. When a person gets distance from something, often a clearer perspective is gained. We experiment with not being ourselves in order to understand who we are. When we visit other cultures we understand more of our own. This is also true with the dynamic of companionship and solitude - we better understand the value of one in relationship to the other. </p>
<p>Bringing awareness to the concept of alone time allows for couples and individuals to better understand each other and themselves. It allows for people to grow as individuals, which can feed positive energy back to the relationship. Here are three tools to approach the creation of alone time that maximizes its benefits.<br />
Celebrate your differences: You and your partner were attracted to each other because of what made you unique from all of the other potential partners out there. That uniqueness takes time to nurture, develop and sustain. So reinforce with your partner how you value their individuality and how that’s attractive to you.</p>
<p>Consider the relationship of Paul and Jessica. Paul is an avid bicyclist while Jessica practices routinely. She enjoys his stories of camaraderie and competition as he and his friends train and compete in century rides throughout the spring, summer and fall. Paul is attracted to Jessica’s grace, balance and intuitiveness that he credits results from her practice. Clearly, they can not engage in these activities simultaneously or together. Giving time and space to each other allows Paul and Jessica to share vivid and energetic time together as their uniqueness is revived. This is far more than being apart and each just ‘doing their own thing’. </p>
<p>This is also true with their needs for social energy. Paul is an extrovert â€" an important element of his rides is that he’s doing it with his buddies, whereas Jessica is nourished by her individual practice. While, it’s nice to be well matched with your partner in your needs for social energies, extroverts and introverts can forge excellent partnerships when they honor and create space for the differences between them. </p>
<p>Expansion and contractions of energy allows for greater potential: A basic principle of energy is that it can only expand so far before needing to contract. Falling in love is expansive, but individuals also need time to contract into themselves to recharge and reconnect with their own selves. Couples who are always together may feel safe and comfortable, but sometimes become less confident in their individual strengths. The result if that they rely on the relationship for energy, and in some cases, their self definition. Dancing consciously with expansion and contraction creates safe and harmonious ways for you to use these rhythms to maintain the juice and sparkle of love. </p>
<p>Imagine the individuals as a couple coming together in a very simple dance, a wave like motion where the members of a couple move together and then apart, their distance from one another mirrors each other. So when they part, they are still moving in relationship to each other, yet what the individuals do in their distance is up to them. When they part, they have space to move more freely, one can swing her arms wildly around her, while her partner barely moves in meditative stillness. Yet at a certain point they long to express this energy to the other, so they reconnect to their own inner rhythms as they bring their individual dances together again. There is a magnetic quality that seems to draw them closer and they blend their motions to create something completely new. A more dynamic is created each time they come back together. And with each new parting, there is the potential for fresh energy to be brought into the dance.</p>
<p>When returning from your alone time allow the energy to feed back in your relationship. Honor what you learned by sharing it with your partner. When your partner returns, open up and honor what the other person got from her time with herself. </p>
<p>Know where you are in the spectrum and what your needs are: The biggest component of using alone time wisely is understanding when you need it and how to communicate it with your partner so that you can use the time to renew yourself. It is your partner’s responsibility to do this for his or herself. </p>
<p>For example, Steve generally didn’t recognize that he needed some space until he found himself staring at the TV ignoring Melinda while she asked him about dinner plans. He didn’t create it consciously with Melinda and so he didn’t really get to actualize his time for something meaningful for himself. One of the biggest beat killers in a relationship occurs when there isn’t consciousness around moving apart and coming back together. When Steve confronted himself to better understand his needs, he realized that he needed half an hour to himself every evening after work to decompress. He was able to communicate to Melinda that this would allow him to enjoy the evening with her (and then she could enjoy him rather than have a grumpy husband). He also realized that he would be better nourished if he used the time to go for a quick run rather than watch TV. Over the course of the last 6 months he lost 25 lbs and he and Melinda enjoy a much happier relationship. </p>
<p>Get to know the signs in yourself that indicate your need for alone time. Perhaps you no longer feel present in your relationship, or you feel like you don’t have anything to say. Then discover what you need to create for yourself. How much time do you want? What do you want to do with that time? </p>
<p>Couples can give each other love their individual spaces, where ever that space may be. When couples value their own individuality and doing their own thing, they are still loving each other from there. Couples who value and trust that, create a powerful magnetism that will draw them back together again, even as their individual dances sometimes move them apart. There is a grace and a positive energy. The distances between them may be small or great, but they are always closest in each others' hearts.</p>
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<strong>Author's Bio</strong> <br />
<p>Author of Simply Sacred, Everyday Relationship Magic and The Alphabet of Inner Demons and How to Tame Them, Jennifer Zurick-Witte is a personal coach and confidante as well as an inspired rock climber. She's brought that courage into over a decade of helping men and woman overcome daunting personal challenges, from forging more intimate and meaningful relationships to charting new paths associated with life's transitions. If you are interested in learning more about how this certified coach can help you craft creative solutions that let you climb to new heights in your life, check out her website, movebeyondit.com. While there, make sure you check out pictures of her dog who is convinced he's a kitty cat trapped in the body of a 179 pound Tibetan Mastiff.</p>
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Personal Statement Writing – Start With a Sample

Many grad programs at various universities and specialty schools will require you to write a personal statement in order for you to apply to the school and if you are not sure what to write then you need to know where to look so that you can figure it out. Because your personal statement will weigh heavily on whether or not you get accepted into the school of your dreams, you want to make sure that you write a personal statement that really wows those who will read it.
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<br>A great exercise to conduct before you begin to put together your personal statement is to start with a sample. This way you can see exactly what goes on a personal statement and you can also check out how the tone of the writer is and what they actually are emphasizing.
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<br>The first place that you should look for sample personal statements is on the website of the school in which you are attempting to get into. If you can find samples of the personal statements of others who have already been accepted into the school then you can really begin to dig deep and find out what will be expected of you.
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<br>Depending on the school in which you are trying to gain entry to, finding these samples can be easy or darn near impossible. When the latter happens you can always turn to the internet for help.
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<br>Just as with anything else these days, the internet has an unbelievable amount of websites with samples of various types of personal statements. You can begin by conducting a Google, Yahoo, or Bing search on 'personal statement samples' and then begin to look at the different results that come up.
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<br>When you are sifting through the vast amount of sample you will have access to, be sure that you are looking for samples that will pertain to you and your personal situation. Once you find sample personal statements that you think have helpful information you can print them out and highlight any areas that you feel may help you when you set out to write your own personal statement. It is also a good idea to take notes as you go along.
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<br>Once you have a good amount of information and several personal statement samples to reference you can then sit down and begin to put down your thoughts for your personal statement. Don't try to write your personal statement after only viewing one sample as this may inadvertently lead you to create a carbon copy of what you are looking at. By writing down your thoughts first you will be able to ensure that you are getting a good mix of ideas and inspirations from the various personal statement samples you like.
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<br>Remember, your personal statement is 'personal' in nature so it is in your best interest to be sure that all the information you provide is in fact your information. By starting with one sample and taking some ideas, then moving on to another and taking additional ideas, and so on, you allow your true self to come out in the finished product and this will give you the best shot at gaining access to the school of your choice.
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<br>About the Author: Jason Kay recommends finding <a href="http://www.samplepersonalstatement.org/" rel="nofollow">sample personal statements</a> at SamplePersonalStatement.org.
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Blogging and the Work at Home Trend

<p class="articletext">Blogs are like ripe apples hanging on the tree ready to be picked, beautiful and oh so delicious. Indulging to it will never be a poison. . It can also be likened to a virus but the difference is the benefits blogs give and also because they are vastly and fast spreading around the globe. <br />
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Knowing the benefits of blogging will leave you lacked-jaw. In terms of personal necessity, blog acts as an avenue for you to express yourself. It can serve as a memory bank for articles you dragged from the internet. It functions like an organizer and thus keeps you updated on everything. A blog is nevertheless a personal website. <br />
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The functions of blog never stopped there. In the field of businesses, blog is also being used as an instrument. There are more than a handful of companies that has adapted blogs to push their businesses at the summit. Focusing to the power of the internet, these companies managed to trust blog for the growth of their businesses. They have actually gambled in a sure win game. Knowing how many people surf the web everyday these companies are genius giants. <br />
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That's for the giants of the arena of business, but how about those smaller enterprises? Does blogs suit them? By all means, yes.<br />
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These small enterprises or we may address as home based businesses is no different from those gigantic ones. They follow the same system only that the former has lower capital as compared to the latter. So what's supposed to be the rub in there? In the first place, as we are dealing with, blogs are acquired for free. Aside from that, unlike the mainstream websites, blogs has low or even no maintenance cost. You can utilize it in no limited time and in the price of none. <br />
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Small businesses or home based ones needs more blog than any other businesses. Or shall we be more specific by saying that such type of businesses necessitates more promotions than that of the mainstream businesses. Since their business place is far off from the central marketplace, people need to be informed and be aware of the existence of these smaller enterprises through blogging. By means of blogging, these types of businesses are given chance to be known and be noticed. They can gather audience and later on customer by means of these super business channels- Blogs.<br />
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To add to that, let us take these advantages of blog for home based businesses:<br />
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" Blogs are all-you-need package. HTML is hard to learn and a little time consuming. By using blogs you will no longer problem the appearance since it is preset for convenience purposes.<br />
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" You can post any thing on blogs without any hassle at all. Plus you can post any time. Nonetheless, posting is not a problem.<br />
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" Since basically blogs are not e-mail communication, spam has no place in it.<br />
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" Blogs are convenient to the point that you can make many of it.<br />
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With these entire advantages all for free means a business with high profits.<br />
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But having a blog for your business requires a little of attention and as you wait for the profit will cost you patience. Anyway, what is business without these two? For you to reach the number of desired audience and customer, listed below are a piece of advice. It will not be a burden or a heck on but rather a better proposition.<br />
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- You must update your blog every now and then. New updates mean another to look forward to on the side of your audience. In as often as possible, you may update your blog at least thrice every week. It will let your audience ask for more. Never overlook all current information and issues that will surely catch their attention.<br />
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- Your blog must have a place for comments, reactions and suggestions. It will help you reach the audiences tastes and desires through their own feedbacks. Criticisms are very essential tool for growth. Just take every criticism positively.<br />
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- Do not forget to link your blogs to other resources. It will help not just you and your business but also your customers.<br />
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- Simplicity is not ugly. Complicated layout and color will attract customers easily and also can shoo them easily too. Remember that content is more important than anything else in your blog.<br />
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- Lastly, take all your good values intact. That will require you of an ample of patience, comforting aura, proper relationship through words, etc. You may not have more audience at first, expect that. Just work on and dream big.<br />
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The entire earth is waiting for your business to be known. Take that mouse and make your own blog.</p>

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6 Simple Tips to Get Cheap Car Insurance For New Drivers

Looking for cheap car insurance for new drivers? If you are a young driver with a new driving license, chances are, your insurance premium is not going to be cheap. This article offers some tips on how to find cheap car insurance for new drivers, as well as the importance of car insurance.
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<br><B>1. Use your parent's name</B>. Insurance companies tend to look at age of the driver, and how new his driving license is. Male drivers under the age of 25 pay the highest rates. By buying your car insurance in your parent's name, the insurance premium will be much lower. Do remember to add yourself as a named driver.
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<br><B>2. Avoid getting a sports car</B>. Insurance for sports car are generally much more expensive as compared to ordinary cars. Reasoning being, as sports car tend to go fast, the risk factor shoots up as well. That explains the high insurance premium. Choose a vehicle that costs less to insure.
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<br><B>3. Get quotes online</B>. Use the internet to search for the cheapest premium for your car insurance. Most companies offers free quote so do some search online and get all the quotes to compare. Some companies actually offer a discount for policies purchased online. You can always use an insurance broker to do the searching if you got no time. After getting the best quote, you might also want to read some reviews regarding the service of that particular insurance company.
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<br><B>4. Opting for the minimum coverage</B>. Get a basic third party insurance coverage for fire and theft instead of a full comprehensive cover. Remember to compare the quotes offered.
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<br><B>5. Keep a clean driving record</B>. If you never did any insurance claims for a few years, by then you would have accumulated a massive no claims discount. Drivers with a clean record will get the cheapest insurance rate. So abide by the traffic rules, no tickets, no accidents. Be a good driver!
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<br><B>6. Don't modify or customize your car</B>. I know how excited it is to own your first car. You just want your car to "outshine" others. I've been there, and done that. Don't be silly, as your insurance premium will "outshine" others as well.
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<br>After these 5 simple tips for finding cheap car insurance for new drivers, right here, I'm not going to go through all the fluff about the importance of buying car insurance. I'll take that from another angle. I'd just share some of the consequences. Consider the following, if there is no insurance coverage:
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<br>1. Vehicle catches fire unexpectedly; could be due to engine overheat, or oil line leakage. Entire car burnt down.
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<br>2. Vehicle crash into someone else's car. Potential lawsuit followed.
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<br>3. Vehicle's windscreen got smashed. Someone just wanted something from your dashboard.
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<br>4. Vehicle lost control and crash into a tree. Engine severely damaged.
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<br>Of course there are ALOT more to list, but these are just some of the common ones. Without proper insurance coverage, you are just going to pay for the damages with every single cent out from your own pocket. Scary, isn't it?
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<br>To conclude, I'd say, get cheap car insurance for new drivers today, to protect your pocket!
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<br>About the Author: New drivers? Convicted drivers? Don't know where to start looking for <a href="http://cheapcarinsuranceforconvicteddrivers.org" rel="nofollow">cheap car insurance</a>? All the pricey quotes are getting to you, isn't it? I completely understand. The research and hard work had been done for you. Check out <a href="http://cheapcarinsuranceforconvicteddrivers.org" rel="nofollow">Cheap Car Insurance for Convicted Drivers</a>.
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Should You Trust Your PSA Scores?

<p class="articletext">Most of my male patients undergo routine, annual PSA (prostate specific antigen) testing. 9 times out of 10, the result comes back within range of normal, or negative as does their physical exam. At other times, a PSA test may come back as elevated, outside of the normal range, and then I have the unpleasant task of calling these patients and giving them potentially very scary news. <br />
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PSA testing is one of the best medical screening tools available to detect cancer of the prostate, but there is a two-sided debate about its true value. With current PSA testing, we have to deal with results that could be false negatives versus false positives. That is, your PSA testing that comes back from the lab as "abnormal", or out of normal range, but may not be anything for you to be concerned about. On the other hand, you may have "normal" lab results and have symptoms or physical findings that warrant further testing. <br />
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First, for those of you who have yet to have a PSA test done, let's talk about what PSA testing is and how it can benefit a man. <br />
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What Is Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) Testing?<br />
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Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) testing is a blood test that measures PSA, a substance made by the prostate gland. PSA testing is done by a simple blood test performed in your doctor's office. The normal range falls between 1-4 nanograms of antigen per milliliter of blood. This is where the debate stems from as a "normal" blood result does not always assure you are cancer free. <br />
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In a recent study, 15.2% of men with lower than 4 PSA results were diagnosed with a high grade cancer. Symptoms, and/or lump on physical exam alone, can prompt a closer look with additional testing, such as ultrasound, cystoscopy, or surgical biopsy, even with normal ranges. Generally, however, the 1-4 scoring system is usually accurate for a disease-free prostate. Now, let's talk about the other side of the coin, an elevated PSA. <br />
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Does An Elevated PSA Level Always Mean Cancer?<br />
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When I see a higher than normal range PSA level result, there are other factors that also need to be considered like: <br />
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Age: The older a man is, the more at risk he is for prostate cancer which may raise a red flag but doesn't necessarily mean his high PSA level will show cancer. In a younger man, elevated PSA levels may be more a result of other factors that can drive up PSA numbers like those listed below. <br />
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Race: Hispanic males are at greatest risk for prostate cancer, though the reason for this is not clear. African-American males are second-highest at risk, white males next, with Asian/Pacific Islander, Native Americans at less risk.<br />
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Infection: A urinary tract infection, or infection in another part of the body, can throw off PSA testing, causing it to be high even though there may be no evidence of cancer. <br />
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Inflammation: Inflammation of the prostate or the surrounding area can also falsely elevate a PSA test. <br />
Enlarged prostate (benign, or noncancerous): A condition called benign prostatic hypertrophy can also cause a false elevation of the PSA test. <br />
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Symptoms: As mentioned above, symptoms alone can prompt further testing in a normal PSA result. In contrast, a man may have a high PSA level and have no symptoms at all!<br />
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Digital rectal exam: If a lump or other abnormality is felt in the prostate gland during a rectal exam, with a normal PSA level, this will prompt further testing. <br />
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New Technologies and Recommendations<br />
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Even though current PSA testing is not a perfect science, and its results can be skewed by many factors, it is still one of the best screening tools we have for detecting early prostate cancers. <br />
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New technologies are being developed to address the current inadequacies of regular blood PSA testing. These include PSA velocity which measures rises in PSA over time; PSA density which compares the level of PSA with the size of the prostate; free PSA versus attached PSA which can more clearly show a benign prostate enlargement rather than possible cancer; lowering the PSA "normal" cut off to 2.5 instead of 4 in the hopes of finding prostate cancers that are overlooked. <br />
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Whichever modality is used, I recommend that, starting at age 40, men get an annual prostate screening exam, which consists of both a PSA test, and a digital rectal exam. Or, even if you are younger, if you have any of the following symptoms, please see your doctor to be screened: <br />
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•Difficult urination – starting, stopping flow; weak stream<br />
•Frequent urination – especially having to get up a few times a night<br />
•Blood present in the urine or semen<br />
•Pain upon ejaculation <br />
•Constant pain in the lower back, hips, pelvis<br />
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Some wonder what is the value of a PSA test in the first place if it can register false readings and cause even more anxiety in patients and/or put them through further testing that may not be necessary. I feel the answer lies in using the PSA as only one tool in addition to good detective work on the part of your doctor to determine false negatives or positives. <br />
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Take heart in the fact, though, that most men with elevated PSA results read false positive and do not have cancer. Only about 25-30% of all men who have further testing, like ultrasound and biopsy, actually turn out to have cancer. Further, over 1.8 million men are survivors of prostate cancer as the result of early screening! And that's a real positive that you can trust. <br />
Stay well,<br />
<br />
Mark Rosenberg, M.D.<br />
Institute For Healthy Aging</p>

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